Your Sex Bucket List: 8 New Sex To-Dos
Complete a triathlon. See the pyramids. Attend an Olympics. Standard bucket-list content. But have you ever plotted the sexy stuff you want to tackle? “Actually writing something down gets you to mentally commit to it,” says Emily Morse, co-author of Hot Sex: Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight! Start with these easy ideas…
Experience a water-pressure orgasm
“When a steady stream of water pressure stimulates your clitoris, it delivers a feeling very unlike the sensation produced by the hands or mouth,” says Alexis Lass, author of The Posh Girl’s Guide to Play. “It’s deeper, more expansive and intense.” To have one, lie on your back in the bathtub and position your body so that your legs are wide open and your clitoris is directly underneath the flow of water. If you’re using a handheld showerhead, stand and direct the water upward, and if you’re in a spa, position yourself on top of a jet.
Have “no-thrust” sex
Hop into bed and do the opposite of normal. “Basically, he enters you and there’s a lot of kissing, caressing and touching – without any pelvic thrusting,” says GP and sexologist Dr Rachael Ross, author of Down Right Feel Right: Outercourse For Her & Him. This slow-burn technique, used in tantric sex, is still erotic enough to give you an orgasm (“your vagina will start to rhythmically contract,” says Ross). And it reconnects you as a couple, reminding you that sex is about more than pounding away.
Experiment with a two-player toy
Make room in your top drawer! The We-Vibe 4 ($199, WeVibe) is the new-and-improved couples’ vibrator. You wear it during sex for extra stimulation to your clitoris and G-spot, and he gets to share the good vibes. It comes with a wireless intensity-control remote, rechargeable battery and USB connection, plus it’s quiet, so it won’t ruin the vibe with lawnmower-like whirring.
Watch erotic flicks that turn you both on
A study in the International Journal of Impotence Research confirmed men prefer more graphic sex scenes, while women get excited by erotic storylines. So turn on an erotic movie that caters to both of your libidos, like Intimate Encounters ($49, bedaring.com.au), the porno directed by a couple for couples. “It shows couples in intimate situations, but there’s plenty of explicit sex for guys to appreciate,” says Dr Kat Van Kirk, a clinical sexologist. If this still feels too pervy to you, try a mainstream movie with intense sex scenes, like Blue Valentine or Wild Orchid.
Try the “lift up”
This makes twerking look tame. Lisa Sweet, author of 365 Sex Thrills, says to bend over and put your hands on the ground and your bum in the air (think: downward dog). Have your bloke stand behind you in a wide stance with his hands on your hips. Once he’s inside you, control the motion by going up and down on your toes and pushing your rear into his groin. “This puts you in total control of the action,” says Sweet. “The angle will offer G-spot stimulation, and he can also slide his hands around to give your clitoris some TLC.”
Write your own naughty lists
Ever wish you could get inside his head to see what he really, really wants? This activity makes that possible. Grab pens, paper and a bottle of wine, and sit down together to write individual lists, suggests Dr Chris Fariello, author of The Lover’s Guide Illustrated Encyclopedia. Then compare notes and pick one to tick off that night. “Both talking about it and doing it can be hot,” he says. Better yet, it’s the game that keeps on giving – you’ll have doubled the items on your sex bucket list.
Take adult sex ed
You go to cooking or yoga classes, so why not brush up on your sex skills? It’s something that Master Jeff, co-host of the NoVanilla YouTube series, recommends. “For instance, you can learn to give each other a sexy massage,” he says.
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