As a teen, outdoor sex might have been a solution to hook up far away from your parents’ house and find some wanted privacy. But as an adult, outdoor sex is potentially an item on your sexual bucket list, up there with role play or doing it in handcuffs.
It’s like eating at a restaurant versus eating at home. One just hits different! The outside-the-bedroom nature of outdoor sex feels forbidden, and that can be totally hot. Of course, it requires a bit more planning, because in addition to checking the weather, you want to be extra careful not to get caught and charged with a crime.
Ahead, we talk through the dos and don’t of outdoor sex, and how to pick a smart location that sets the appropriate mood.
Location is everything
You want to choose some place that feels adventurous, exciting and different – without involving non-consenting individuals in your sexcapades.
“As long as you are comfortable and in a safe space, sex can be explored in a variety of locations,” states Kiana Reeves, a somatic sex educator, pelvic care practitioner, certified doula, and Foria‘s Chief Brand Officer. “Some ways to spice it up may be to get it on in the outdoors, like your balcony, your backyard under the stars, or even in the wilderness, which can be pretty freeing!”
While there’s something to be said for hot, spontaneous sex, makin’ whoopee outdoors is something you should plan ahead. Now, let’s talk through potential locales.
Spots that play it safe
“I always recommend being mindful of where you are and who might be around – giving yourself and your partner some privacy (or at least a barrier between you and the outside world) can help eliminate the risk of someone catching you,” Reeves says.
If this is the first time you’re attempting outdoor sex, test the water in your own backyard, balcony or rooftop. There’s a chance neighbors could spot you, but it’s in a clean and private space where you wouldn’t break the law. Plus, patio furniture! Available props can enhance the experience depending on your physical capabilities (because not all of us can go for 10 minutes wedged against a tree without incurring serious injury).
Want to get out of the house? If we learned anything from Titanic, it’s the unmatched power of posting up in the backseat and having car sex. “Car sex can offer you some privacy, while still getting the rush from a change of scenery,” Reeves notes.
An abandoned dirt road, an empty parking lot at night, or the wilderness are all suitable places for car sex. Just make sure to avoid security cameras should you be in a more residential area.
If you do decide to have sex out in nature, make sure the area is as secluded as possible – an empty campsite where you won’t be surveiled, or a deserted beach at night with no chance of anyone walking by.
“I don’t think there are necessarily bad places to have sex, but having awareness about what might become an issue prior to choosing your location is important. For example, getting sandy at the beach is a bummer, so bring a blanket,” Reeves advises.
Sex should mean getting ravaged by your partner — not by bugs and poison ivy. So plan to set up a makeshift area to increase cleanliness and comfort. Put a blanket, towel or yoga mat under you, and pack an extra blanket to cover up with should there be passerbys. Even better, put up a tent to keep the event private and to avoid getting branches, rocks, sand and trash where they don’t belong.
It’s also smart to go commando and wear clothes that make it easy to have a quickie, such as a dress you can lift up or stretchy shorts you can shift to the side.
Seriously, avoid getting caught
Some states have laws about sex in public spaces, and if it’s on someone else’s property, it could be trespassing. While the thought of getting busted might be the biggest turn on, the last thing you want from your sexscapade is to get ticketed or arrested. Doing a quick Google search of your state’s laws and resulting consequences if you’re caught can help you choose a low-risk location.
As long as you exercise caution, Reeves says it’s up to you to tumble where you want. “Getting it on in a super public spot may not be my first choice simply because you don’t have control over who or what might see you, but to each their own! Everyone is different, and everyone should be able to embrace what and where feels best for them.”
So, if you are hankering for the sweet adrenaline rush of outdoor sex, make sure there’s an action plan in case you’re seen. “If someone happens to spot you from afar, chances are, they’ll leave you alone and give you some distance,” Reeves notes.
But you could get arrested by police, or have your intimate moment end up in a video on the internet. You could also be spotted by a child with an angry parent who will confront you. There are several ways outdoor sex could end poorly, so be smart and avoid high-traffic areas, especially schools, parks and anywhere children tend to be.
Come prepared for outdoor sex with condoms, lube, sex toys, bug spray, water and anything you need to make the experience feel comfy and pleasurable. You can also bring personal hygiene supplies too, like baby wipes to clean off dirt from every crevice in your body, or band aids in case you get cut on a rock or branch.
“I always suggest packing some goodies and useful items for any date or pleasure sesh,” says Reeves. “Grab a cute tote or makeup bag and pack condoms, lube or Sex Oil (make sure the two are functionally compatible of course!), Arousal Oil, and anything else that makes you feel like you when you’re getting intimate.”
Embrace the moment
Even if your favorite fantasy is sex in the great outdoors, the act itself can still be intimidating. That’s why we stress location so much – make sure you’re able to handle being in the space you have in mind. That you’ll be able to let go, not thinking about the twigs or shells or trash, and lose yourself in the experience.
If you’re feeling inhibited when the big day comes, set the mood with a romantic picnic and really spend time on the foreplay. Especially with sex outside, perfection is not guaranteed. It’s supposed to be a dirty, naughty adventure. But if the experience feels too scary or gross when you finally get there, you can always try it another time.
We love when sex can be playful and fun, but if doing the nasty outdoors isn’t on your sexual bucket list, that’s okay too. “Some places to explore inside besides the usual bedroom scene include the floor, kitchen, the couch, or even the bathroom where things can get wet and steamy very fast!” Reeves suggests as alternatives.
Keep in mind, outdoor sex requires a certain level of trust. It gives you the opportunity to explore something new, and it’s best shared with a respectful person who’s ready to plan ahead and be careful.
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