Mother relived her own mother’s death because of postnatal depression
Mother, 26, whose postnatal depression left her unable to separate her dreams from reality was left suicidal after trying to walk out on her baby and husband four times
- Amy Potter, from Stoke on Trent, gave birth to her daughter, Aurora, in January
- She began to suffer from postnatal depression just hours after the delivery
- It became so bad she threatened to kill herself and wanted to run away
- But she has recovered thanks to the support of her now-fiancé, Mark Peart
- Miss Potter says people have to know they can speak out if they’re struggling
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A mother’s postnatal depression affected her so badly she threatened to kill herself and could not distinguish her dreams from real life.
Amy Potter, 26, had her daughter, Aurora, nine months ago and quickly spiralled into depression so bad she had to be stopped from abandoning her family.
Miss Potter had constant nightmares about the death of her own mother who had died the previous June, and they were so vivid she thought it was happening again.
On four occasions the sociology student, from Stoke-on-Trent, said she packed her bags and prepared to leave before her now-fiancé, Mark Peart, 28, convinced her to stay.
After fighting off her depression, Miss Potter now says there should be more mental health support available and sufferers should know ‘it’s okay to speak out’.
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Amy Potter, mother of nine-month-old Aurora, suffered from postnatal depression so severely she threatened to kill herself and tried to run away from her family on multiple occasions
Miss Potter said: ‘About a week after we got home from the hospital with Aurora, I was having really bad nightmares about mum passing away.
‘The nightmares were every night. I couldn’t separate reality from the horrific dreams. I was visioning my mum dying.’
Miss Potter’s mother, Julia, died of cancer in June 2017, aged just 54.
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And vivid dreams about what happened led the new mother to have suicidal thoughts and attempt to walk out on her own family.
‘My mum was only 54,’ Miss Potter said. ‘It was vile watching her die and becoming so unhealthy. She went from 11 stone to just six stone.
‘She had a DNR [Do Not Resuscitate] which I understood as cancer is a debilitating disease, she was going through chemotherapy and every treatment on offer. It wipes you out.
‘I wanted my mum to be here when I had Aurora – she knew I was pregnant. I just felt like I had the weight of the entire world on my shoulders at the time.’
Miss Potter had a traumatic labour with Aurora in January and said she was already beginning to suffer from depressive thoughts just hours later.
She said: ‘My labour was like every bone in my body was being broken – the amount of pain was horrible.
‘Twenty-four hours after her birth, I got what’s known as “the baby blues”. It hit me so hard, I was still grieving for my mum.
Miss Potter said the birth of her first child, Aurora (pictured), felt ‘like every bone in my body was being broken’ and she started to feel depressed just hours afterwards
Miss Potter believes her postnatal depression was worsened because she was still grieving for her mother, Julia (pictured, the pair together), who had died of cancer aged 54 around six months earlier
Aurora is now nine months old and Miss Potter has recovered from her severe depression thanks to support from her partner, Mark Peart, and antidepressant medications
‘After everything that had happened with my mum, everything came crashing down so hard.
‘I even accused my partner, Mark, of cheating on me because he left me for 12 hours in the hospital.
‘When I left the hospital, we were on a bit of a high because we knew we were coming home.
‘People coming around all the time and it was so invasive. I wanted my own space.’
And Miss Potter said her nightmare continued at home as she spiralled into depression.
She had suicidal thoughts and attempted to leave her family behind on four separate occasions after the couple’s relationship deteriorated at a rapid pace.
She said: ‘One time, I went upstairs and packed Aurora’s things ready to leave and Mark came and stopped me after realising how bad I was.
‘I used to break down, whether I was doing the washing, eating or changing her.
Aurora was born in January and when the family went home, Miss Potter said she felt constant visitors made it harder for her to cope with her deteriorating mental health
Miss Potter and Mr Peart (pictured with their daughter, Aurora) are now engaged to be married after he helped her overcome her depression and convinced her to stay when she tried to run away – the mother-of-one says it’s important for depressed people not to feel like they’re alone
‘One day, he asked me what I was going to do when he was gone, and I replied, “kill myself”.
‘He stood by me through it all and we’re getting married soon.’
Miss Potter initially refused to seek medical treatment for her depression out of fear social services would take her daughter away.
But thanks to the support of Mr Peart, a site manager, and antidepressant medication, she has recovered and wants to reassure parents they are not alone.
She said: ‘I was scared social services would take Aurora away – I told them I’d never neglect Aurora, she was always going to be okay.
‘People need to know it’s okay to speak out. Mental health makes us who we are. More funding should be pumped into the NHS for mental health.’
WHAT IS POSTNATAL DEPRESSION?
Postnatal depression is a form of the mental-health condition that affects more than one in 10 women in the UK and US within a year of giving birth.
As many men can be affected as women, research suggests.
Many parents feel down, teary and anxious within the first two weeks of having a child, which is often called the ‘baby blues’.
But if symptoms start later or last longer, they may be suffering from postnatal depression.
Postnatal depression is just as serious as others form of the mental-health disorder.
Symptoms include:
- Persistent sadness
- Lack of enjoyment or interest in the wider world
- Fatigue
- Insomnia
- Struggling to bond with your baby
- Withdrawing from others
- Difficulty concentrating and making decisions
- Frightening thoughts, such as hurting your baby
Sufferers should not wait for their symptoms to just go away.
Instead they should recognise that it is not their fault they are depressed and it does not make them a bad parent.
If you or your partner may be suffering, talk to your GP or health visitor.
Treatments can include self-help, such as talking to loved ones, resting when you can and making time to do things you enjoy. Therapy may also be prescribed.
In severe cases where other options have not helped, antidepressants may be recommended. Doctors will prescribe ones that are safe to take while breastfeeding.
Postnatal depression’s cause is unclear, however, it is more common in those with a history of mental-health problems.
Lack of support from loved ones, a poor relationship with the partner and a life-changing event, such as bereavement, can also raise the risk.
Source: NHS
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