Dear Coleen: I’ve got a chance to land my dream job – but I’m shy

Dear Coleen

After years of working in a role I’ve always hated, I’ve been given the opportunity to go for my dream job.

I am in my late 30s and have wanted to work within this particular industry since I was at school. The problem is that I’m terrible at interviews!

I’m always ridiculously nervous and never portray myself as either ­confident or competent.

I am also stupidly shy, which is pathetic at my age. However, I know I’d be good at this job.

Although I’m not looking forward to any aspect of the day (and it is ALL day), I am particularly dreading the group team-bonding exercise.

I’ve had to do these at interviews before and I’m awful at it.

The fact that the task appears completely unrelated to anything you’d ever encounter in the job is completely beyond me.

I’m certainly no good at designing and building a rotating drill out of rulers, pencils and an empty washing-up liquid bottle.

I understand that employers are looking to see how individuals get along with each other, but I’ve always got along with people really well – I’m just not gregarious.

If you’re not shy you will never understand how it is for someone who is. Is there anything you could suggest to help me prepare? I really, really want this job!

Coleen says

Well, I get it because I’m shy and have often been in social situations where I’ve had to fake confidence.

And I can relate to your interview issue, too, in that, I can’t do auditions.

I can walk on to a stage in front of thousands, but want to curl up and die if I have to perform to 10 people.

My sisters audition a lot and what they say is the more you do, the less nerve-wracking it is. You become a bit tougher and don’t take it so much to heart if you don’t get the job.

So I think that’s what you should do – even if you don’t get this particular job, keep going for interviews and you’ll get better at them.

You could also look into confidence-building courses and there are plenty of self-help books out there.

You could also practise being out of your comfort zone by engaging more with people, even if it’s just chatting to someone in line at the coffee shop in the morning.

At the interview, keep in mind that you’ve put yourself in this situation for a positive reason – to realise your dream of getting this great job.

Try to look forward to it and not dread it – it’s a means to an end. Other interviewees are going to be feeling the same as you, even if it doesn’t show.

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